![]() FYI: mango chiffon will make you sweat more than usual. ![]() Nice.Īnd now I just wanted to slow down the rushing river of panic that was flowing through my veins. So yes, my afterlife started with motion sickness. I rose up, up, up and took a sharp turn to the right, then a big drop, then a loop, then suddenly rose up again, going faster. It felt like I was on a malfunctioning ride at Six Flags and the staff had abandoned us in an electrical storm. (By the way, that’s my specialty: knowing things I’d rather not know.) And just for the record, I didn’t have the white-light-and-loved-ones-coming-to-welcome-me-because-death-is-a-wonderful-thing transition to the afterlife. I knew without even a tiny flicker of doubt that I was dead, but I didn’t want to know it. ![]() Isn’t this perfect? I had actually kept my mouth shut, opting not to tell the bride that I’d never be caught dead in mango. I was surrounded by waves and waves of mango chiffon. This proves that if you use enough product, your hair can endure things the rest of you can’t. My hair was still pulled back in an elaborate ponytail that was meant to look windswept, but trust me, it would have survived a tsunami. ![]() Still dressed in the (hideous) mango chiffon bridesmaid gown I was wearing when I died. ![]()
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May 2023
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